Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
