I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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