And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize