Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
