ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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