yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
All I want is dick and wine.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
