just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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