But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
