I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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