Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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