Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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