remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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