This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
