If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
