this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
