After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
