I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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