no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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