It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
