When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
