Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize