yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
My liver is preforming stress tests.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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