and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
