well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize