There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
