Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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