Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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