tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
