Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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