No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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