then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
