I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Send help, water and tortillas.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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