I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
