eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
