ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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