I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
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Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
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His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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