I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
