hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
