the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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