Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
