Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
