That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
