2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
