He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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