my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
