Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
