love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
