I think i sorta joined a cult last night
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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