i was born a porn star she said
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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