if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
