I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
