i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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