If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
