My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
3pm strippers are depressing
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
