I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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