Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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