So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
