Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
