you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
