My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
