ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
