What did we do last night that was yellow?
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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